Who are You.....????

hahahaha.. its almost three months since my last post in here... pergh mesti da berabuk2 da tempat ni.. biase la kan, peoples n world itself are changing.. it is not unusual... the one is still da same are should feel wrong, coz its shouldn't... but eventually, WHO CARES.....huhuhu

to be honest, im sick with my life.. through my whole life i was searching WHO I am, what I made for.. is it my life ryte not is da life dat i meant for... kesian kan ak ni.. after this almost 23 years i'm lived, im still BLIND to which way should I go...

honestly, i'm not talking bout my marvelous family, luvly fren and all my environment.. it jes me. it is jes BATTLE within.. everything I done to make my eyes open, but still it wont... semakin jauh layar ini membawa diriku, semakin aku menyoalkan diriku... Is THIS you live FOR... and the only answer i get is always NOOOOO.....

but soon enough, Allah itu maha kuasa dan penyayang terhadap hamba2nya.... there are always way out.... and now I starting to see the light.. the light of truth, and hopefully i'm taking the ryte path this time...Hopefully...

if you read this.. can you answer my question with all of your heart.. WHO ARE YOU???!

Thank You...

huhu.. semasa sedang menulis ni, tgh baring kat bilik hotel, baru abis job n waiting untuk job sok plok. kat melaka ni....

banyak plok rase nye x update dalam blog ni, tapi pertamanya.. ak dengan sepenuh rasa cinta dan cukup bersyukur kepada mak abah n sahabat2 yang wish for my besday yesterday, da memory n luv dat had given are make my day so bright... thank you again for da luv again....May Allah bless all of you.. fi jannah insyaallah....

tapi dah terlanjur disini, baik ak ceritakan saat ak ngan anak buah aku ni time otw balik KL sabtu minggu lepas....

kisah 1

kami baru sampai di bandar Melaka, mahu melawat makcik ak yang sudah lama tidak bersua. sudah menjelang christmas, maka banyak la banner yg dipasang sepanjang perjalanan...

(melihat keadaan sekeliling dan terlihat satu sign board yg agak gabak dan memangil anak buahku)

Aku : abang , tengok tu...

Danial: besonye pak busu..

Aku : Cuba abang baca.

Danial : 'Selamat Hari Nakal'....

Aku : tergelak terbahak2....atok ngan nenek kat depan tersenyum je tgk cucu die ni...

Kisah 2

malam yang sama kami Danial,De dan aku sedang menonton X-men di Star Movie..

Aku : best btol la kalo ak power gak kan..

De : Ehhh... ak pn ade power gak la .. makan banyak pinggan wooo...

Danial : Pak Ude makan pingan ape ek...?

De n Aku : ketawa terrbahak3....

(danial baru nak masuk darjah 1, minggu depan ni... belajar sungguh2 Danial, jangan jadi macam pak busu ni,pemalas je lebih...wakakaka ;p)

Am I your friend...

tonite again, my mind do some extra work until my eyes cant be shut..so here I am.

entahlah..mungkin nukilan ini akan menjadi tulisan yg anda merasakan tidak berasas langsung dan merasakan ianya tidak beerti. Itu hak anda dan aku takkan sekali melarangnya.. please argue with me...

entahlah..aku mula memikirkan perkara apabila aku melihat shoutout seseorang di FB dan aku mengenalinya... have you ever think why actually you any relation to any one...FRIENDSHIP...

ini adalah apa yang berada di dalam kepala aku...

sometimes, org boleh je cakap yang dia akan lakukan apa sahaja utk kite, die la sahabat sehidup semati tapi bagi aku semua unkapan itu tidak penting coz 'it's more than a word to show how you feel'... keadaan sebenar yang akan menguji adakah benar dia akan sentiasa bersama dengan kita.. sorry, I had been facing much of these kind of relationship with my Frens dat will contionously make me wonder, what is friendship is all about... like a chipsmore to be precise, now you see it, next it wont...

ak dah sampai muak dah dengan perkara ni, sampai aku dah boleh detect siapa die 'poker face' ni, here are some of it;

1) maybe some say dat 'dont judge a book by its cover', but in this kind of thing, there is exception. tgk pakaian yg macam 'poyo' je. kita dah boleh tau die ni 'fake' dan jes a poser, not a real thing.

2) bukan stakat pakaian je, perangai pn poyo, its most likely he/she is not for you.

3) he/she want to be your fren because wat you have and not wat u are, org camni senang gile nak rase, die akan melekat je n quite pushy dan kekadang buat kite tersepit. tapi kalo kite dalam masalah. batang hidung die yg beso tu pun tak nampak tau.

sory to saying all of these, but sometimes bende2 macam ni wat dunia tak best. sume bende fake. ak cakap sume ni bkannye ak selidik pun but if many times u confront wif it, it become so obvious...

tapi bg aku sume ni tak penting, coz personally, I will ever and never to fake to any of my fren, seyes... tak kesah la, berapa banyak kite dah sakit kerana ini, tapi ia tak bermakna kita boleh lakukan perkara yang sama pada mereka. kita bukan nak jadi macam mereka, kan...aku rase kalau sume at least jujur pada diri sendiri, pasti dunia ni akan lebih baik kan...entahlah...

'Apple' anyone.....

fuhhh...dah lame gile tak update, dunno if anybody still read this blog..but who's care..its mine anyway....lalala

last tuesday, my bro, his fren and I went to low yatt jes becoz my bro's fren have to buy something for his mother n repair his laptop. my precious earfone is damn missing n till now after asking almost all of my housemate, sume ckap tak tau.so ritu gi sane,igt nak cari gak la kan.kalo murah leh rembat satu...

so after my brother's fren settle his thing, i start browse up where possibly i can find it~~~

Aku : De, ko tau tak ek 'Apple' katne ek...ak rase macam kat situ, tp dah takde plok

De : ntah la..kite tgok2 dulu la..

Kawan De : ooo.. ak dah lame tak dtg low yatt ni. dah lupe katne supermarket die...

Aku : (aku pikir, eish org nak cari kedai lain die nak cari supermarket plok)

bile dah sampai 'Apple'...

Kawan De : oOOoo.. igt korang lapo tadi, nak makan apple...

Aku n De : (ketawa terbahak2 n i jes paham ape die cakap tadi...sengal tol... wakakaka)

Is there still any HOPE....

terima kasih for the response to the last reply, it is most appreciated. tapi tak tau camne nak tulis balik kat komen tu, sengal btol aku ni. anyway thanks for the love.


but today I am totally move to write about something what I had been lost for sometimes, and surely it's come in the way you want it. You know, sometimes we try to seek the right path that we think it is the best for us. we are struggling so much to catch it, even just in front of our eyes but its seem so hard to reach it. Of course, there are despite, harsh and surely there are also hope. Just keep believing it.

kisah ni berlaku ketika hendak solat jumaat di Kompleks Sukan (Pusat Islam is still under construction). kesesakan yang amat tidak dapat dielakan walau di mana anda berada. so the inly spot I had on that time,only and only is, on step of the stair that full of SLIPPERS...

(dibawah ini bukan dialog)

aku : dengan slumbernye, ketepikan selipar yang ada. what choice I have. Sapu sikit kotoran selipar yg tetinggal. terasa bahu disentuh.

org sebelah : aku tak kenal pn. die hulur sapu tangan dia untuk jadikan tempat aku sujud.

aku: looks, there are still hopes..

lamps are maybe different, but the light is wholly the same

The Best People in My Life...

hahahaha...after some period of time reconcile myself, I gratefully still rationally live until today n enjoy the 'nikmat' of life and happiness....

hari ni aku nak ceritakan beberapa org yang terbaik pernah datang ke kehidupan aku dan secara tidak langsung membantu aku meneruskan kehidupan aku yang serba kekurangan ini....and the most important thing is, besides Allah and His Mesengger, these peoples are the reason why I'm here right now....

1) En Seman dan Pn Suriati.

actually these are my parent..lol... if not because of them, i'm definately wont be here today...tapi seyes, walaupun mereka tak dapatlah memberikan aku kemewahan material seperti orang lain tapi kerana merekalah aku dapat belajar 'how to live perfectly in very imperfect person I am'. I definately Luv both of u more than I luv myself. Thanx for eveything mak n abah.

2) Mr Mohd Hisham Jaafar.

this one is my special one. I just barely met him after my SPM and our relation growing so fast. for me He is my second father. He is trully my mentor in every way. but lately, i had been lost contact with him. He just lost his son, but seriously ak tak tau camne nak reach him. I'm so sorry for da news Abi.. you are my only one.hopefully Allah Bless you with His all rahmat..

3) My Siblings.

childhood world, there are fighting that we always enjoy doing together..huhu... Akak , Angah, De and An... even all of you are not what I other brother and sister be, that's ok with me because all of you had inspired my life in a very different way. even you never though you ever do this to me, but having all of you as my sister and brother is a precious treasure I ever have. Thanx for the great things we had did together.. Luv you all

4) My Friends.

what could I do without my friends. there are to many, from my school, my matriculation. my degree....you are so much for me..all each of you is my every single heart beat. Every pain and happiness we through together, there no better thing will happen. you guys teach me in a very uniqe way and I most loved and appreciated by all those. All of you are great people that are so generous, that are willing to help the most 'sengal' person of me.. May Allah bless all of your life...Thank you...

there to many friends that i have to mention if I start one, maybe some other time. but you already know who you are that always be by my side if I need shoulder to cry on...Thank you...

I LOVE ALL OF YOU...MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU ALL.......

A Moment of Truth....

it's been a while, I not updating this blog coz of a few reason...lame one...huhuhuhu.. but i had heard bout some people are enjoying reading this. Those are very pleasant things to be heard of....thank you for da support..

but today, sempena hari dan bulan mulia ini. for what ever reason, I wanna to reveal some things that many people think I am, but I am not... the moment of truth...



mungkin ramai yang fikir aku ni seorang yang baik dan menjaga semua perbuatan aku, but it is not. bagi aku, I am da stupid creature in this entire world. I am been expecting and searching many things that I think I suppose to get it, coz I deserve it. but actually it already been in front of my eyes, since forever. but now I do realise it and I will be appreaciated it, always. Please if someone read this, and been thinking I am the good people, please change it. coz I am not one.

Along these times, I had did many bad things behind all people I knew. very bad bad thing, out of what you all can possibly imagine I can do. The easiest way to make this clear that, I myself feels 'jijik' to what ever I did, seriuosly.... the reasons I tell these things, because I not deserve da perception that had been tagged with along this while. and I really want to straight things up, with all previous perception everybody to me, it is hard for me to change myself. I do not ask for your sarcasm to threat me after reading this but by not thinking I am a good man, already satisfying for me, please.

I knew, maybe many people will not understang my position right now. but believe me, I already stuck on some of peoples' perception on me. maybe you all still thinking that it is nothing wrong from getting such good perception from everybody, but the true is, that also be the reason I did many things wrong because I think you all still keep thinking I am a good man...

I do really hope that I can CHANGE myself to better man, to ALLAH, Its Messenger, My Parents and all my friends beside me. I am mostly appreaciated all your loves and attention to me and I'm promised that I try very hard learning to spread it back...

the best way to prevent bad things is, not to change it but try your hardest to not be one.believe me...